Midlife motherhood

2010-02-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

It has been a while since I have written. That seems to be a pattern with me. I usually only write when I am extremely happy, or sad, or mad. Today I am extremely mad. I was sitting here minding my own business playing a little marble lines (I have a friendly rivalry going on with someone), she knows who she is!!! Anyway, I was sitting here playing and listening to Regis and Kelly. Well, that went off so i flipped it to ABC to watch Hot Topics on the view. I do not care for the view because I can't stand Joy Beher (sp?) I think she is a big mouth know nothing!, but I do love Hot Topics so I deal with her to see that part of the show. Afterwards, I turn it off unless she is not there which is very seldom! So, I am ready to see it and all of a sudden a "Special Report" came across the TV and my heart sinks, because when you see that you just know something bad has happened. Low and behold George Stephanopolis and his co-anchor are sitting at a news desk. What comes out of his mouth next dumbfounds me. He says: Tiger Woods is going to make an announcement about his cheating....ok, so he did not say that exactly, but that it is in a nutshell.

So, here we have our National TV channels hosting a man talking about his cheating and how bad it was and how he and his wife are handling it in private and it will stay that way BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...I turned it off right then and there.

Who actually gives a damn about this????? Men and women cheat every day in this country. I don't think we need to do Special Reports on the outcome of the cheating do we??? We have a war going on, starving children, an economy that is in the tank....to name just a few more pressing matter in my opinion.

To top that off we are going to be bombarded for the next week, month or until the next crisis unfolds with different analysts, talk show hosts, news anchors, and of course the trash talk TV, telling us all about why he really did it, how it came to happen, and what it will take to fix it all!!! Maybe Jon and Kate will fight again and that will change the subject....I never thought I would root for Jon and Kate to come back to us and splatter stories all over the TV, but I would much rather hear ANYTHING, but about this!

This is one time I wish my Blog reached millions of people because I am so sick of the crap TV we are getting......

Love to all :D

Shaken to the core.

2009-12-23T02:13:00.000-08:00

I really don't even know how to begin this. I had to watch my youngest brother be taken away to and Ohio rehab center last night. As I hugged him bye and walked past the EMT's that were to drive him the 900 miles from Oklahoma to Ohio they assured me that they would take "good" care of him. Taking him to the unknown. Not knowing if once he gets there those people will also take good care of him. All I can say for sure is that I know that he is in God's hands. I am not a religious person, but I want to believe that he will be taken care of. I need to believe that.

Some History about him. He is not going to rehab for drugs or any other "normal" rehab situation that we are all familiar with. He is going to rehab because he has become so obese that he can no longer stand and walk on his own. His kidneys failed and he needs daily dialysis. Troy was always heavy. He was a cute chubby baby and and adorable chubby toddler and so on and so on. He was doomed to be fat because my mother fed him all day long. You can't blame her because for probably the first time in her adult life she didn't have to worry about putting food on the table so she fed him very well. Over the years the food became first and foremost in his life. So there is a brief History.

You might be asking why if he lived in Oklahoma is he headed to Ohio? Well that is where I am torn and probably why I am not sleeping tonight. I am a Republican and also the type of person that believes you take care of yours and your own and you work to do it and life will be good. Troy did that, he worked every day as a self employed shoe repairman. It wasn't a career that made him wealthy, but it certainly was a living for him. He was taking care of himself with little left over for anything, especially insurance. So, in a word he brought this upon himself. This is all his fault. He didn't take care of himself, so why should the State of Oklahoma.

Things kind of spiraled out of control after my mom died five years ago. I can certainly understand why they did. They were there for each other and all of a sudden she wasn't. She basically took care of everything else and he worked. When she was gone NOTHING got taken care of. He didn't do his taxes for the past five years which is why the State of Oklahoma would not step in and help. His fault, yep. Doesn't make it any easier though. So, why his Medicare case is pending there is not one facility in Oklahoma willing to take him. He has to have Dialysis and the hospitals cannot afford to keep him there. His bill so far is over 100,000.00 for just the past 30 days.

Step in the state of Ohio and the nursing/rehab center willing to take him with a pending Medicare case. All I know about them is that there are currently 2 other patients from Oklahoma there in the same boat. I pray that they are good to him because he is 900 miles away and I cannot just jump in my car and drive up to make sure everything is ok. I know all of this is his fault, but he is my brother and even though every fiber in my being knows that it is his fault and I would not have the same sympathy for others it is breaking my heart to know that he is once again all alone or should I say "still" alone.

I hope that this facility lives up to what they put out there. They are a weight loss center as well. So, he will continue losing weight and hopefully regain muscle so that he can stand again and walk on his own. Just over the past 30 days the hospital took off over 100 liters of fluid through dialysis fom his body which adds up to 200 pounds. My hope is that the facility continues following the regiment that the hospital set for him. I was assured that they would, but once again who knows. I do know that he will have dialysis 3 times a week. For the past three weeks he has had it daily because he had so much built up fluid.

As for the State of Oklahoma. I would move away from here in a New York second if my husband would. I have a big problem with a State that will not take care of their own. Again, I know it is his fault, but I see people on a DAILY basis abusing the system. He truly needs "the system" and they basically legally "dumped" him. I will certainly NEVER talk good about this State to anyone EVER again. I am ashamed that I was even born here and even more ashamed to live here. I am a little bitter right now. I may or may not ever get over it. All I do know for sure is that I want Troy back here safe and sound. I told my husband last night that if he was offered a job away from here to take it.

Anyway I hope this makes sense because I am not going back over and proofing it because quite frankly I can't take reading it right now. Maybe at a later date when the pain is not so raw I will, but for now I just want to let someone (ha ha, I know this does not get read!) know how I feel in the moment. I also hope and pray that there is a God and if there is that he is watching over my baby brother this very moment as he embarks on a new chapter in his life.

PS OKLAHOMA SUCKS (tell all of your friends)

Best Friends

2009-10-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! It has been a while since I last blogged. I have been so busy with my school and the kids school that I just have not made the time. I was of course on my favorite cooking site this morning and there was a topic about best friends. It made me lonely thinking about those women out there that had best friends. Friends they could call up and chat with for hours if they wanted to. Friends that they could meet with to have coffee with or a lunch date or even a dinner date. Someone that no matter what could and would be there for you. I don't really have a true best friend. I have a good friend that I think in my heart would do all of the above if she could...so maybe that is a best friend? I have lots of "aquaintances" through the kids school, but I don't see them outside of that area so they really would not be catagorized as "friend". There are a couple I would love to have as friends, but I am just not sure how to make that happen! We need a handbook!!!

The definition of friend at dictionary.com is: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. When I looked up "best friend I was directed to boon companion and the definition for it is: an intimate or close friend; best friend Example: With a boon companion, she followed her new path. So there we have it according to Dictionary.com!

I hope my daughter finds a life long friend. I want that for her and for my son as well. That is one thing lost when you move around a lot and I admit i did that freely! Now I am settled and i am going to start truly looking for a few good friends to share a life time with. I suggest you do the same because we sure are not getting any younger! Good luck on your journey, and I will let you know how mine is going :)

Facebook

2009-07-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

I finally joined Facebook. After getting several invites over the past few months I decided to take the plunge! I still feel like I am in a free fall. I don't understand most of it. I am not real sure if I am posting on my Facebook or another persons Facebook when I respond. I get posts that make no sense to me, but hey I am there! And isn't that all that matters?

There are games on there and I joined one. Again I have no idea how to play. I have all these people asking me fore things, but I have no idea how to ask them for things!! I think they actually want you to spend REAL money on there to buy stuff! Are you kidding me??? I will never spend real money on a virtual game site for myself, but it raises the question are there people that will?? Will they get so wrapped up in it that they will gladly spend money, if so then I need to start one of these game sites myself! I would like a piece of that action.

One of the things that I do love about the site is that you can find old friends. I have found a couple of old high school friends that I probably would have never seen or heard from ever again. I consider that the coolest part of the site. Another part of it that drives me crazy is the friends they want you to make that you have no clue who they are!!! They can be friends of your friends etc... I am very picky of my friends, so I don't want a huge friends base. I like the quality of friendship not the quantity! Does that make sense?

I wish they had a kid safe site because Gillian wants to get on there, but I don't dare allow her because anyone can become your friend. Can you imagine all the pedophiles on there. I just will not allow her at age eleven to be on there. Some of her friends are on there and she doesn't quite understand why mean old mom won't let her get on there even though I explained the reasoning behind it. These are the times that I know my mom is sitting up there in heaven just giggling away because Gillian is giving me a tiny dose of what I gave her! I sure miss her during these times.

Anyway, over all I love this new Facebook and can't wait to see what all it has in store for me :) Now how do I get my oldest son to quit cussing on there?? I don't feel like you need to type exactly what you are thinking!!! I sometimes think less is more. Do you hear me Matthew!

Current event: Abortion Dr.

2009-06-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

I was on my cooking site this morning and there was a mention of the abortion Dr. that was shot and killed at his church this past weekend. The thread had been closed because it was about to become a heated debate. Well, I just had to give my opinion because I feel the shooter/murderer should be charged with a hate crime.

I am not here to say who is right or wrong on the abortion debate, but murdering a man because of his choice of work does not agree with your personal belief is murder plain and simple.

Yes, we can say that he murdered innocent babies, but that is simply not true. The law protects him. He is legally doing his work. If he were not then he/she would have been arrested, but we all when thinking logically know that is simply not true.

NEWSFLASH: ABORTION IS LEGAL IN THE U.S.

If you don't agree then fight to change the law, do not cower behind men that can shoot a gun. One must not be allowed to go around killing people just because they don't agree with someones job option and even more so their pure American right. Because when it comes right down to it. The murderer broke the law the abortion Dr. DID NOT.

What a busy few months

2009-05-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I have not posted since January 2!! Wow, I thought I posted since then. oh well..... Another semester has come and gone which means I have 1 more year before I graduate with my Bachelor Degree, YEAH! This past semester was a tough one. It seemed like I was always playing catch up with one class or another. I never did get in the flow and it drove me crazy all semester long. It was also by far my favorite semester, so go figure!

My oldest son is also in school pursuing his degree in Psychology. I suggested that he move back home when he finishes his Doctorate and we could have a mother-son practice!! Yes, I said Doctorate. He is young enough to get that. I don't think I will go that far because as it is by the time I finish my Masters I will be 50!! That is good enough for me. Anyway my son lives in Houston so I doubt he will move back to my little town, but it is good to dream! ;)

We have decided to put our two youngest children in private school. They have been accepted into our second choice already and are on the waiting list for our first choice. Hopefully they will have an opening for them by the Fall. If they do not I will be happy with where they will be.

Gillian is not too happy about changing schools because she has her friend base. I explained to her that she could have both knowing that as she makes new friends the others will either fade into the past or be life long friends. Either way it will work itself out. Michael on the other hand is so laid back he is excited about something new. I like that they will still both be together for a few more years. Had they stayed in Public School they would have been split up after this year, but in their private school they will be together another three years.

Last but certainly not least, my hubby Michael Sr. is doing fantastic. He loves his job and his life. He is one of only a handful of people that I have met in my life that truly says he can find no complaints about life. How cool is that?

On a sad note. I lost a very dear friend this past April. Sue, she was barely 40 years old. She fought valiantly for over ten years this horrid beast we call Breast Cancer. In all those 10 years she stayed so positive. I have always said the same thing about Sue to anyone that would listen that when she came into a room there was just this special Aura around her. I have only seen that in one other person in my life. I am not an overly religious person, but I believe these two individuals truly had something extra that they were put on Earth for. I am not sure what, but both of them touched my heart in a way that forever changed me. My dear friend Sue may you rest in peace and may Tim and the boys have some peace of mind knowing that you are finally free and in Gods loving arms.

What can I follow that with other than to say I have missed writing on here. Hopefully I will write another post sooner than four months down the road this time!!! I do have some summer classes so I will be staying pretty busy with that and of course my two little rug rats!

Stay positive, stay happy, stay safe.
Cindy

Just a little bit of everything!

2009-01-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

Wow, it is already January 2, 2009. I can't believe that Christmas is over and the new year has come. We had a wonderful Holiday. The kids seemed very pleased with their gifts, so life is definitely good. It just went by way too fast! We have this last weekend before they go back to school on Monday. I think we will go to the movies either tomorrow or on Sunday for one last outing before buckling back down.

I didn't make our traditional New Years Day dinner so I think I will make it on Sunday. I didn't think I would miss it but I am and I have decided that I need it! For those of you that don't know what our traditional dinner is, it consists of Black eyed peas with ham hocks or ham chunks, fried potatoes, cornbread, sauerkraut and wieners, chow-chow, banana peppers, onion wedges and that is about it!

My mothers' birthday would be tomorrow. I am doing okay for now. I know I will feel really sad tomorrow, but I am not going to get in a funk. I am going to think positive thoughts about her and if I find myself slipping then I plan on changing whatever I am doing at that moment. We will see if that works.

I am also a bit nervous about starting my new semester on the 12th. I am taking a five hour class on Spanish. I will have a total of 14 hours. I have always taken 12 hours so I am a bit nervous about the 2 extra hours. I just want it to go well. I think it will, but I am still nervous!

I hope you all have a wonderful new year and may you get everything you want and need in the year to come. Happy 2009!

Merry Christmas Eve Eve

2008-12-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas eve eve and I am doing great. I have been making my candy today. The kids have been playing the Wii and watching TV. Gillian has her nose stuck in one of her many Warriors books. She is hooked on them and she just can not seem to get enough of them. I am okay with it because I love that she loves to read. Michael has his nose stuck in his DS right now. He thinks he is a "gamer" at the ripe old age of eight!!! I say more power to him!

Our friends are supposed to be over sometime today. They were supposed to come over last night, but I ended up at my Dr's office at 7:00 pm with a busted up hand. We bought new furniture and I wanted to move one of the old chairs into our bedroom so when DH came home I asked him to help me move it. So off we went down the hallway with this overstuffed armchair and as I was backing my way down, I slammed my hand into the doorknob of one of our linen closets. I slammed it so hard that I went to my knees in tears. I hadn't cried like that in a while. DH felt so guilty, he though he had pushed to hard. I explained that I thought I was pulling him so how could he have puched to hard. He was really afraid that I broke something so he insisted we go to the Dr. Anyway, they x-rayed it and found no broken bones. I do have some damaged nerves which make my little finger and the one next to it numb where it connects to my hand. My Dr. said that they should feel normal in about two or three weeks. I have a few cuts on it so I had to have a tetnus because I don't know when I had one last. Oh, it is my right hand which is not the best since I am right handed! Life goes on!

My sil and her son's girlfriend are coming over tomorrow to make candy and pies, so I will be in the kitchen again tomorrow. I love being in my kitchen especially when there are others with me having a great time. I am enjoying the heck out of these holidays. DH will come home early tomorrow and then we will have until Monday together how awesome is that!

I hope everyone of you is having as much fun as I am, minus the busted hand! :)

Merry Christmas eve eve!!

2008-12-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

WOW! I can't believe it has been almost three months since I posted to my blog. School sure kept me busy this past semester. I am so glad it is done even if for only three weeks! I really did enjoy this semester even if it did wear me out. Enough about school.

The kids are doing great. They have this week left and then they will be on Christmas break too. Gillian keeps amazing me with her school work. She has even come round about going to a private school next year. I think having her little brother there with her helped seal the deal. She isn't as upset about it anymore.

Matthew and Chris came home over the Thanksgiving holidays and we all had a great time. Matthew just turned twenty-five years old last week. I cannot believe I have a twenty-five year old child. It truly does seem like I just had him.

Okay that is it for now. See you soon I hope. At least sooner than three months! :)

Life is Good

2008-09-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am officially out of my funk! I am finally in the groove with school. Fall is here which is one of my favorite seasons. The kids Book Fair is almost here. Gillian is seeing High School Musical on Ice with one of her friends as I type this and then they are spending the evening at the fair and then she is spending the night with them. Technology is incredible. While sitting here typing this my friend has sent three pictures of the girls having a blast at the show! How cool is that? Instantaneous pictures! Life is Good.

We will be decorating this weekend for Halloween. Halloween is one of our favorite Holidays. My youngest was born on Halloween which makes it extra special around here! We always celebrate his Birthday afterwards so that he gets both days. We did his first B-day on Halloween and I felt like he kind of got cheated, so we haven't done that again.

My oldest son lives right outside Houston and he said life around there is finally get back to normal after Gustav's visit. We were going to rent a beach house on Galveston next year. It doesn't look like that will be happening. It is so hard to see those pictures. We went to Galveston almost every weekend when I was a kid. Every one of those people are in my thoughts and prayers. I am hoping that everyone gathers together and gets Galveston at least cleaned up fast so the people can at least have some closure.

Survivor is back!!! It is my favorite show in the whole wide world! I haven't seen the first episode yet, but I plan on watching it this weekend. I was so happy to see Jeff Probst win the Emmy for best host because he really is. I like all the other hosts, but he really deserved it. I hope we have some good contestants on there this season.

Ohhhhh, I had my one year anniversary for quitting smoking last month. I am so glad that I quit. I am really beginning to breath easier. I really don't miss them at all. I have had a few dreams about them and I have had a few times when I found myself looking around for that pack of cigarettes in that split moment! I wish everyone could quit because it truly does make a difference in your life. I have to thank my family and Chantix for helping me quit. It was what I needed to help me through those first few days.

OK, that is about it for now. I am going out to dinner with the two guys in my life right now. My two Michael's are taking me to Outback tonight :) Wish My Matthew was here so I could say my three guys in my life right now. Gillian is out having her fun, so we thought we would have us some fun too!!! Life is still good.

See you all next time *hugs*

Five years ago today......

2008-09-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

Five years or 1824 days ago my mother passed away. I really dread this day every year. I get in this funk and it seems like I am there for a few weeks. I am still mad as hell that she went and died on me and I still miss her like crazy. I was her only daughter. She was the bes mom a daughter could have ever asked for. I could always count on her, I always knew that she was on my side. We used to talk almost every single day. I would think about calling her, and the phone would ring and it would be her or vice versa. We just had that type of connection. We fought too. We would just agree to disagree. Now I feel like I am all alone. I know I have my own family, but she gave me a sense of belonging and I lost that when I lost her. I don't know if I will ever get that back. I wonder if other people feel that way after losing their parents. I hope not because it is such a lonely feeling. It is not with you all the time it just kind of pops up every now and then and slaps you in the face then disappears again. I tend to really feel it around the anniversary of her death or her Birthday. I still cannot believe it has been 5 years. I have only had a few dreams about her. One of my friends said that is a good thing because that means she is at peace. My friend is a Hindu. I hope she is right, because she so deserves to be at peace. I hope she is up there floating around on a fluffy white cloud munching on her favorite chip Lays classic and sipping a glass of iced tea. I love you mom :)

The Presidential Election

2008-09-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

This election is really getting to people. First off let me tell you right up front that I am a Republican. I have been my entire voting career including my voting in Weekly Reader in school. I had the privilege of voting for Ronald Reagan for his second term. I missed voting for him the first time by five months. Over the years I have sat back and quietly voted because that is what we Republicans do. I don't know about others, but I don't feel the need to protest. I don't need to be out there acting out to get attention for my party. I find it sad and quite pathetic that people feel the need to do that. In my opinion those people just need to get a life.

My best friend is a Democrat. We are constantly teasing each other about how our parties would feel if they knew that we were best friends. If she had her choice Hilary would be running, but since she isn't she is backing her second choice Obama. I am backing my first choice McCain. We don't agree with each others choice, but we totally respect each others choice. I do not feel the need to change her mind and she does not feel the need to change my mind. Neither one of us feels the need to put the others choice down. We see enough of that in the media, both the very large liberal and the very small conservative media. (We do agree on the media issue) I find it totally cool about her that she can admit that there is a whole lot more liberal media outlets than for Republican media.

We are also both back in college after many years away. We both see how the liberal edge is in all the colleges. I have professors mention little snippets about the election all the time. I have yet to find a Republican professor yet at this new college. I had quite a few at my last college. I guess what bothers me about this is that the majority of the minds the professors are teaching are young and impressionable. I just don't feel like there is free will. That scares me a bit. It is like they want these robotic answers and no thinking. I haven't asked my friend yet if she sees what I see. I would like to know what the other side thinks about it without prejudice. I know I will get that with her.

My Poly-Sci professor asked us the other day if we had seen Palin's speech the night before. He then laughed right behind the question and continued on with his lecture. He did not want to know what we thought. He just wanted to put it out there that he thought it was funny, not serious....just funny. I actually said later in the lecture when I could that I enjoyed her speech. That it was a fresh approach and that it was a nice change. He didn't really like that and stated that he didn't agree. I didn't care, at least those impressionable minds heard another opinion if only for that one fleeting moment. I guess you could call that my attempt at protesting!!

I will be glad when this election is over. Until then my friend and I will sit back and watch all the craziness around us.

College is ticking me off.

2008-09-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I have blogged about this, but I am a full time college student as well as a wife and mom. I just graduated this past Spring with my Associates Degree and now I am going on for my Bachelors degree. I have a class in American Studies called Long National Nightmare: America in the 70's. I had no idea what this class was about. My counselor suggested it and because I am a new student I just said okay. What a stupid move. The class is taught by a very young thirty something Dr. of something (haven't figured out what yet.) All that the class is about is books and movies in the 70's and what social and political meaning they had. I am sorry, but it is going to kill me to do a 5 page essay on some of these movies that I think are nothing more than entertainment or even less, crap. How the hell am I going to come up with 5 pages of bull to get through this class. I have to do at least 3 of these and one last paper that has to be 8 to 10 pages. I will NEVER ever let another counselor suggest a class. I bet they have the top 10 classes that nobody wants that pop up on their screen and those are the ones that they suggest. The Dumb ass newbies (pointing at me) take it just because the process of going to a new school is daunting to say the least, so we just nod and smile thinking all the while that we are being well taken care of! HA HA HA I will guarantee myself this. Next semester I will be the Master of my own domain. I will not dare take a class until I know exactly what it is all about and who will be teaching it. Until then I will read the material and try my best to BS my way through the papers. Hopefully I will somehow pull an A from the class. Lesson learned.

Another thing that really annoys me about these Professors (Dr's.) is their vocabulary. I was taught in Comp 1 that you do not use extremely big words. It is considered pretentious. These people love to use as many big words as they can. It is sometimes as if they are speaking a completely different language. I think I have a pretty extensive vocabulary and they are blowing me away. I have started a glossary section at the back of each one of my notebooks just to jot down the words that I have never heard so that I may look them up when I get home. I truly feel they do this just to annoy us!

Other than that life is still good :)

Enjoy this puzzle click on puzzle to begin :)

2008-08-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

August 10: Ignorant people and Board Etiquette

2008-08-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

Sit back and hold on because I am in the mood to bitch! It is that time of the month and for some reason stupid people are really getting on my nerves. They don't usually bother me, because I know that we need them in our world to work those jobs the rest of us won't.... But....... I don't like them on the Internet.

You guys have heard me talk about the board I belong to. Well I have been a member there since 1998. Let's just say I know my way around a chat board. We have this little thing called etiquette, even on the Internet. Some dumb ass breeched it on my favorite board this past week and I am a little pissed to say the least.

Let me explain for those of you who don't know, or those of you that don't care, or those of you too stupid to get it. For instance, if you are going to divulge something then you should know to put SPOILER in your Title. If you are going to post on someone ELSE'S post that DOES NOT have SPOILER in the title, then don't be ignorant and post a spoiler. It is just that simple dumb ass. If you happen to ACCIDENTLY post a spoiler and if someone brings it to your attention the CORRECT thing to do is immediately apologize to everyone and edit your post to remove the material. I personally don't care if you watch live feeds 24/7 do whatever you like but don't ruin it for me or anyone else. I certainly wouldn't ruin it for you. People, this is chat board etiquette 101. How dare you assume that everyone else wants to know the information before it is ACTUALLY aired.

We have all made mistakes at times and try our best to remedy the problem. You are not the ones this blog is aimed at. Hell, I have been there myself a time or two. The difference is none of us decided to think we were all that and left the offensive info we did our best to rectify the situation. To those of you that decide you don't need to repair your mistake you are in my ignorant, stupid, dumb ass, category. Don't you feel so proud? STUPID

July 31 HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-07-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

Today is my aunts birthday so what a great way to start my blog. Happy Birthday Aunt Evelyn. Hope your day is filled with laughter and love.

I have several things on my mind this morning!

I am going to start by talking about the California earthquake. I keep seeing the Judge Judy show where she gets up and runs out of the room or under the desk, depending on who sees it. Why are people even talking about this? Should she just sit there and wait to see what is going to happen? Her children and husband are not there so in my opinion she needs to be taking care of herself. She does not owe one person in that courtroom a thing. I say save yourself Judge Judy. Those whiners need to get over it.

Now to another topic. My dear friend has met a man on the Internet. I have no problem with her meeting a man on the Internet. I met my husband that way and we have been happily married for over 11 years. one of my problems is that she has not even met him yet and he has bought her this huge engagement ring. They are planning on going house hunting this weekend, and she is already talking about quitting her job etc... all this bothers me, but not like her going to meet him at his hotel room this weekend. At first she wanted to meet him in public and now it is just her and him at his hotel. I have voiced my concerns and she has just blown me off. My DH said to just walk away because she is going to do what she wants regardless of what I say. I am just so afraid for her. I am afraid for her safety and for her heart. She has not had the best track record with men. She is shutting me out so I am just going to patiently wait for her to call me next week.
On to a more happy topic. We get to go pick up our daughter tomorrow from camp. I am so happy and I think my son is even more happy than I am that this week is almost over. I know she is having fun because we have NOT received one of the pre-stamped notes that I sent with her. I did send her an email each evening so that she had something from home each day. I just can't wait until tomorrow.

Our biggest news is that we have finally decided that after our children finish this school year we will be putting them into a private school. I have been struggling with this for a year. I know that my daughter will be very upset because she will have to make all new friends. I know in the long run she will love her new school and having her brother go with her I think will make it a little bit easier for her. I have researched and researched all the private schools and I think I found the perfect match for us. I love the curriculum , the class size, and their philosophy. I am so pleased over all with them that I really wanted them to start this year, but I promised that she could finish fifth grade, so I will keep my word. I have to say I am so excited about all of this.

That is about it for the day unless I think of something else that just needs to be said before tomorrow!

July 29 Hate should be a bad word

2008-07-29T05:05:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine asked why I hadn't blogged in a couple of days and I told her that I was missing my daughter and I was in a funk about it so I was having bloggers block. I'm back and out of my funk (for the moment) just for your viewing pleasure! ;)

I was just watching The Today Show and the story came on about the guy who did the shooting at the church in Tennessee. He allegedly did it because they were a bunch of liberals and allowed Gays in that church. What is wrong with us, people? Isn't it God's job to do the judging? When did we decide that we could judge others instead of leaving that job up to God?

I am so far from being a liberal, but I have friends and a son that is and I respect their right to their opinion and beliefs. I would never want them hurt or chastised for their beliefs. Just like I would never want to be for mine.

I also have a child that is Gay. If anyone still believes that they choose this lifestyle they are so far in denial it isn't even funny. If people would just listen they would understand so much better. They don't listen though because then it might take them out of their comfort zone or away from their life long beliefs.

I saw firsthand just how archaic we still are Sunday afternoon. We were at Wal-Mart buying some last minute items that my daughter would need for camp. We were looking at the shelf of sunblock and it was right next to where this woman was set up offering free samples of Atkins health bars. I would say she was in her late fifties. She started talking to us and trying to help us. I told her that we needed non-aerosol because that is all she was trying to hand me. I was just being polite because I really didn't need her help. All of a sudden she changed the subject and said just wait until you start buying school supplies. I explained to her that we bought them over a few weeks so we didn't break the bank!! She shot back as if we were sitting at her kitchen table and I quote, "yea, my grandson told me he needed 96 pencils" "I told him I would buy him 12 and those niggers could buy their own." I about fell over. Here were my children listening to this ignorant person. I immediately looked at my husband in disbelief and starting shuffling my children away. We got them down and isle and immediately asked them if they understood what just happened. My daughter did and she was upset that the woman spoke that way. I explained to her that some people will always believe in hateful ways. Thankfully my seven year old son didn't even hear the stupid woman.

So I guess that is what my blog is about today. It is about being tolerant, love thy neighbor, be nice, let the hate go, and allow God to do his job.

July 24 I don't like the word CAMP

2008-07-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday Morning and I am really beginning to stress about Gillian going off to camp. I really do not want her to go. She is my baby. I waited many many years to have my little girl and now she is going off to camp. I don't know how parents can just send their kids off to camp. I know I am just being over protective as usual, but must I say it again? She is my little girl. The scary thing is that she is growing up on me. She is 10 going on 20. She is really excited about going. It is an Art camp and she is my little Artsy girl. I know in my heart she will have a wonderful time, but I won't be there at night to kiss her or tuck her in. Okay, I don't tuck her in anymore, but I could if she were here with me. I am just going to breath and relax and drive here there this Sunday and with a smile on my face and sunglasses on (to hide the tears) I will wave to her and be right there the following Friday first in line to pick her up.

Michael still has all these plans on what he is going to do around here without big sister to boss him around. He is really cute when he talks about it with her. She is even giving him suggestions!!! So, in essence she is still bossing him around. She is just doing it in advance!! He is taking the bait. Bless his little heart he just does not have the cognitive skills that she has yet. One day he will and watch out big sis!!

I know I am talking a lot about my kids today, but they go back to school in three weeks! We only have three weeks left to sleep in, lay around and read books, swim, go out to eat fatty junk food etc... And of course my favorite: We all pile up in my bed, with popcorn and we watch a movie and just hang out together.

On the other hand, I am excited that they are going back to school because then I get to go back to school too. I also get to go meet up with my girlfriends for lunch and hang with them without all of our kids interrupting. We get to gossip and just relax. Yes, Jules I said gossip!!!! ;) :)

Well folks that is it for another blog. Hope you enjoyed because I smiled and reminisced about our summer just a little. Now I am going to jump in the middle of my daughters bed and wake her up so we can play. :)

July 22 Tuesday Morning

2008-07-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Between the Orthodontist, Periodontist, and the Dentist I am beginning to get a major complex. Every time I go to them they tell me how such wonderful strong teeth I have, but I still have to have all of this work done on them. My smoking took its toll on them. Even though I have strong teeth the smoking damaged them severely. Although you can't see it with the naked eye I have bone loss. I also have little to no enamel left so I have to now brush with this special toothpaste that supposedly helps replace some of the enamel. We will see. All my fault I know. Hey, at least I quit smoking almost a year ago. Hopefully they won't get any worse.

Today I went and had my upper permanent retainer removed so that tomorrow morning my dentist can fill a cavity and replace another filling that another dentist put in a few years back and really screwed up. Then back over to my orthodontist to have my retainer put back on.

Thank god we have really great dental insurance. I can't imagine trying to do all of this work I have done in the past month while paying for it out of pocket. Do I really want to start talking about insurance? Not really because that is a whole other blog in itself.

Now I have to brag on my kids. I told them before we went this morning that they better behave. I also told them that we could go to QT afterwards if they behaved. They were awesome. They took their book and their DS games and I didn't hear a peep out of either one of them. Of course my orthodontist doesn't mind them tagging along because he sees the future dollar signs!!!

Just another day in the life of Cindy! See, I told you that I could be boring. I like boring :)

July 20th Sunday, Sunday

2008-07-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

Another day gone forever. We had a really good weekend. The weather was hot and beautiful and the kids were able to swim both days. I love when they swim both weekend days because it wears them out for Monday and I get to relax and do the things that I need to get done around the house. I talked to my oldest son this evening. We usually talk every few days, but I had not talked to him all week, so I called to check in on him. He had just been busy with work. He is an auditor for a chain of retirement Condos/Apts. He mainly travels around Texas checking on all the properties to make sure all of the paperwork is up to code. Whatever that means??? I have no clue. He just loves his work so I am happy for him. It is still so hard to believe that he will be 25 this year. I swear I had him when I was 2!!! ;)

I am also getting my 10 year old daughter ready to go to camp next week. It will be her first camp and she will be there for five days. I am already having anxiety about her going. I have NEVER been away from her for more than one night. I have tried to get her to change her mind, but she is having nothing to do with it! My 7 year old son is sooo happy that his sis is going off to camp. He may be fine now, but mark my words within 48 hours he will miss her like crazy and then start driving me crazy!

I had a dream last night and it has been bothering me all day. My mom was in it. I have only had 2 dreams since she died with her in them. I understood them both and understood why she was in them. This one I don't understand and it just has me a bit uneasy. I wonder if she is trying to tell me something? Oh well, hopefully I will figure it out :)

July 19th: Just another day in paradise

2008-07-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,
I was sitting here drinking my coffee reading my cooking board and someone mentioned that they were post-teenager. It really got me to thinking that I should be post teenager too! Yet, I have these two kids under 11! What the hell was I thinking having these two at age 35 and 37? I was almost home free and then I turned around and started all over! What really sucks is that MOST of the women my age don't have any children left at home so they don't want to hang with me. Bitches! I can't blame them I would not want to hang with people that had little kids either if I didn't have them. The women that have kids my age are basically 10 years younger than me. I have some great friends, but do you know how hard it is to sit and look at those beautiful pores, the tight skin on the face with no crows feet, the boobs that are still perky, and the NON graying hair? I just want to yell at the top of my lungs sometimes that I want to be that way again!!!!

Then reality kicks back in and I sit back and think that my DH loves me just the way I am, pudgy, graying, crows feet and all. I don't have to worry about what is going to go south 'cause it's already there!! I don't have to dread that first line around my eye because it is already there.

Still I don't think I would be opposed to a boob lift, some Botox, or any other modern miracle to knock me back a few years :)

July 18th My anniversary

2008-07-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

Today is my anniversary. My husband is at work, but we will be going out for dinner after he gets home. Our children will be going with us because lets face it, out of my friends and relatives we just don't trust anyone to watch them. Well I do trust one person, but I forgot to ask her, so that's my fault!
It is Friday afternoon and both of my kids are cleaning their rooms because they want their allowance. They get their allowance regardless if they clean it or not. They just don't get to spend it until it is cleaned.
I talked with my brother this afternoon. I talk to him almost every day. We are the closest of all of my family. My mother died four years ago and he and I are really the only ones that stayed close. We are not as close as I would like us to be because we had a falling out last December and neither of us seem to be able to get past it. It really sucks because I want us to be close.
My oldest son lives in Houston. He is doing great right now. He lives there because that is where his father lives. He moved there to be with him when he was almost 14. I really had no choice in that matter. My ex's family had lots of money and at the time I was just starting over, so I had to let him go. Trust me, I still kick myself in the ass for that one. I miss him every day. We talk all the time, but I have not seen him in over 2 years now. He is supposed to come up for Thanksgiving. He better. We are probably going to go visit him next summer.
That's all for now. I will tell ya more about me soon. I know you just can't wait!!!! ;)