Hi everyone,

It has been a while since I have written. That seems to be a pattern with me. I usually only write when I am extremely happy, or sad, or mad. Today I am extremely mad. I was sitting here minding my own business playing a little marble lines (I have a friendly rivalry going on with someone), she knows who she is!!! Anyway, I was sitting here playing and listening to Regis and Kelly. Well, that went off so i flipped it to ABC to watch Hot Topics on the view. I do not care for the view because I can't stand Joy Beher (sp?) I think she is a big mouth know nothing!, but I do love Hot Topics so I deal with her to see that part of the show. Afterwards, I turn it off unless she is not there which is very seldom! So, I am ready to see it and all of a sudden a "Special Report" came across the TV and my heart sinks, because when you see that you just know something bad has happened. Low and behold George Stephanopolis and his co-anchor are sitting at a news desk. What comes out of his mouth next dumbfounds me. He says: Tiger Woods is going to make an announcement about his cheating....ok, so he did not say that exactly, but that it is in a nutshell.

So, here we have our National TV channels hosting a man talking about his cheating and how bad it was and how he and his wife are handling it in private and it will stay that way BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...I turned it off right then and there.

Who actually gives a damn about this????? Men and women cheat every day in this country. I don't think we need to do Special Reports on the outcome of the cheating do we??? We have a war going on, starving children, an economy that is in the tank....to name just a few more pressing matter in my opinion.

To top that off we are going to be bombarded for the next week, month or until the next crisis unfolds with different analysts, talk show hosts, news anchors, and of course the trash talk TV, telling us all about why he really did it, how it came to happen, and what it will take to fix it all!!! Maybe Jon and Kate will fight again and that will change the subject....I never thought I would root for Jon and Kate to come back to us and splatter stories all over the TV, but I would much rather hear ANYTHING, but about this!

This is one time I wish my Blog reached millions of people because I am so sick of the crap TV we are getting......

Love to all :D

Shaken to the core.

I really don't even know how to begin this. I had to watch my youngest brother be taken away to and Ohio rehab center last night. As I hugged him bye and walked past the EMT's that were to drive him the 900 miles from Oklahoma to Ohio they assured me that they would take "good" care of him. Taking him to the unknown. Not knowing if once he gets there those people will also take good care of him. All I can say for sure is that I know that he is in God's hands. I am not a religious person, but I want to believe that he will be taken care of. I need to believe that.

Some History about him. He is not going to rehab for drugs or any other "normal" rehab situation that we are all familiar with. He is going to rehab because he has become so obese that he can no longer stand and walk on his own. His kidneys failed and he needs daily dialysis. Troy was always heavy. He was a cute chubby baby and and adorable chubby toddler and so on and so on. He was doomed to be fat because my mother fed him all day long. You can't blame her because for probably the first time in her adult life she didn't have to worry about putting food on the table so she fed him very well. Over the years the food became first and foremost in his life. So there is a brief History.

You might be asking why if he lived in Oklahoma is he headed to Ohio? Well that is where I am torn and probably why I am not sleeping tonight. I am a Republican and also the type of person that believes you take care of yours and your own and you work to do it and life will be good. Troy did that, he worked every day as a self employed shoe repairman. It wasn't a career that made him wealthy, but it certainly was a living for him. He was taking care of himself with little left over for anything, especially insurance. So, in a word he brought this upon himself. This is all his fault. He didn't take care of himself, so why should the State of Oklahoma.

Things kind of spiraled out of control after my mom died five years ago. I can certainly understand why they did. They were there for each other and all of a sudden she wasn't. She basically took care of everything else and he worked. When she was gone NOTHING got taken care of. He didn't do his taxes for the past five years which is why the State of Oklahoma would not step in and help. His fault, yep. Doesn't make it any easier though. So, why his Medicare case is pending there is not one facility in Oklahoma willing to take him. He has to have Dialysis and the hospitals cannot afford to keep him there. His bill so far is over 100,000.00 for just the past 30 days.

Step in the state of Ohio and the nursing/rehab center willing to take him with a pending Medicare case. All I know about them is that there are currently 2 other patients from Oklahoma there in the same boat. I pray that they are good to him because he is 900 miles away and I cannot just jump in my car and drive up to make sure everything is ok. I know all of this is his fault, but he is my brother and even though every fiber in my being knows that it is his fault and I would not have the same sympathy for others it is breaking my heart to know that he is once again all alone or should I say "still" alone.

I hope that this facility lives up to what they put out there. They are a weight loss center as well. So, he will continue losing weight and hopefully regain muscle so that he can stand again and walk on his own. Just over the past 30 days the hospital took off over 100 liters of fluid through dialysis fom his body which adds up to 200 pounds. My hope is that the facility continues following the regiment that the hospital set for him. I was assured that they would, but once again who knows. I do know that he will have dialysis 3 times a week. For the past three weeks he has had it daily because he had so much built up fluid.

As for the State of Oklahoma. I would move away from here in a New York second if my husband would. I have a big problem with a State that will not take care of their own. Again, I know it is his fault, but I see people on a DAILY basis abusing the system. He truly needs "the system" and they basically legally "dumped" him. I will certainly NEVER talk good about this State to anyone EVER again. I am ashamed that I was even born here and even more ashamed to live here. I am a little bitter right now. I may or may not ever get over it. All I do know for sure is that I want Troy back here safe and sound. I told my husband last night that if he was offered a job away from here to take it.

Anyway I hope this makes sense because I am not going back over and proofing it because quite frankly I can't take reading it right now. Maybe at a later date when the pain is not so raw I will, but for now I just want to let someone (ha ha, I know this does not get read!) know how I feel in the moment. I also hope and pray that there is a God and if there is that he is watching over my baby brother this very moment as he embarks on a new chapter in his life.

PS OKLAHOMA SUCKS (tell all of your friends)

Best Friends

Hi everyone! It has been a while since I last blogged. I have been so busy with my school and the kids school that I just have not made the time. I was of course on my favorite cooking site this morning and there was a topic about best friends. It made me lonely thinking about those women out there that had best friends. Friends they could call up and chat with for hours if they wanted to. Friends that they could meet with to have coffee with or a lunch date or even a dinner date. Someone that no matter what could and would be there for you. I don't really have a true best friend. I have a good friend that I think in my heart would do all of the above if she could...so maybe that is a best friend? I have lots of "aquaintances" through the kids school, but I don't see them outside of that area so they really would not be catagorized as "friend". There are a couple I would love to have as friends, but I am just not sure how to make that happen! We need a handbook!!!

The definition of friend at dictionary.com is: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. When I looked up "best friend I was directed to boon companion and the definition for it is: an intimate or close friend; best friend Example: With a boon companion, she followed her new path. So there we have it according to Dictionary.com!

I hope my daughter finds a life long friend. I want that for her and for my son as well. That is one thing lost when you move around a lot and I admit i did that freely! Now I am settled and i am going to start truly looking for a few good friends to share a life time with. I suggest you do the same because we sure are not getting any younger! Good luck on your journey, and I will let you know how mine is going :)

Facebook

I finally joined Facebook. After getting several invites over the past few months I decided to take the plunge! I still feel like I am in a free fall. I don't understand most of it. I am not real sure if I am posting on my Facebook or another persons Facebook when I respond. I get posts that make no sense to me, but hey I am there! And isn't that all that matters?

There are games on there and I joined one. Again I have no idea how to play. I have all these people asking me fore things, but I have no idea how to ask them for things!! I think they actually want you to spend REAL money on there to buy stuff! Are you kidding me??? I will never spend real money on a virtual game site for myself, but it raises the question are there people that will?? Will they get so wrapped up in it that they will gladly spend money, if so then I need to start one of these game sites myself! I would like a piece of that action.

One of the things that I do love about the site is that you can find old friends. I have found a couple of old high school friends that I probably would have never seen or heard from ever again. I consider that the coolest part of the site. Another part of it that drives me crazy is the friends they want you to make that you have no clue who they are!!! They can be friends of your friends etc... I am very picky of my friends, so I don't want a huge friends base. I like the quality of friendship not the quantity! Does that make sense?

I wish they had a kid safe site because Gillian wants to get on there, but I don't dare allow her because anyone can become your friend. Can you imagine all the pedophiles on there. I just will not allow her at age eleven to be on there. Some of her friends are on there and she doesn't quite understand why mean old mom won't let her get on there even though I explained the reasoning behind it. These are the times that I know my mom is sitting up there in heaven just giggling away because Gillian is giving me a tiny dose of what I gave her! I sure miss her during these times.

Anyway, over all I love this new Facebook and can't wait to see what all it has in store for me :) Now how do I get my oldest son to quit cussing on there?? I don't feel like you need to type exactly what you are thinking!!! I sometimes think less is more. Do you hear me Matthew!

Current event: Abortion Dr.

I was on my cooking site this morning and there was a mention of the abortion Dr. that was shot and killed at his church this past weekend. The thread had been closed because it was about to become a heated debate. Well, I just had to give my opinion because I feel the shooter/murderer should be charged with a hate crime.

I am not here to say who is right or wrong on the abortion debate, but murdering a man because of his choice of work does not agree with your personal belief is murder plain and simple.

Yes, we can say that he murdered innocent babies, but that is simply not true. The law protects him. He is legally doing his work. If he were not then he/she would have been arrested, but we all when thinking logically know that is simply not true.

NEWSFLASH: ABORTION IS LEGAL IN THE U.S.

If you don't agree then fight to change the law, do not cower behind men that can shoot a gun. One must not be allowed to go around killing people just because they don't agree with someones job option and even more so their pure American right. Because when it comes right down to it. The murderer broke the law the abortion Dr. DID NOT.

What a busy few months

I have not posted since January 2!! Wow, I thought I posted since then. oh well..... Another semester has come and gone which means I have 1 more year before I graduate with my Bachelor Degree, YEAH! This past semester was a tough one. It seemed like I was always playing catch up with one class or another. I never did get in the flow and it drove me crazy all semester long. It was also by far my favorite semester, so go figure!

My oldest son is also in school pursuing his degree in Psychology. I suggested that he move back home when he finishes his Doctorate and we could have a mother-son practice!! Yes, I said Doctorate. He is young enough to get that. I don't think I will go that far because as it is by the time I finish my Masters I will be 50!! That is good enough for me. Anyway my son lives in Houston so I doubt he will move back to my little town, but it is good to dream! ;)

We have decided to put our two youngest children in private school. They have been accepted into our second choice already and are on the waiting list for our first choice. Hopefully they will have an opening for them by the Fall. If they do not I will be happy with where they will be.

Gillian is not too happy about changing schools because she has her friend base. I explained to her that she could have both knowing that as she makes new friends the others will either fade into the past or be life long friends. Either way it will work itself out. Michael on the other hand is so laid back he is excited about something new. I like that they will still both be together for a few more years. Had they stayed in Public School they would have been split up after this year, but in their private school they will be together another three years.

Last but certainly not least, my hubby Michael Sr. is doing fantastic. He loves his job and his life. He is one of only a handful of people that I have met in my life that truly says he can find no complaints about life. How cool is that?

On a sad note. I lost a very dear friend this past April. Sue, she was barely 40 years old. She fought valiantly for over ten years this horrid beast we call Breast Cancer. In all those 10 years she stayed so positive. I have always said the same thing about Sue to anyone that would listen that when she came into a room there was just this special Aura around her. I have only seen that in one other person in my life. I am not an overly religious person, but I believe these two individuals truly had something extra that they were put on Earth for. I am not sure what, but both of them touched my heart in a way that forever changed me. My dear friend Sue may you rest in peace and may Tim and the boys have some peace of mind knowing that you are finally free and in Gods loving arms.

What can I follow that with other than to say I have missed writing on here. Hopefully I will write another post sooner than four months down the road this time!!! I do have some summer classes so I will be staying pretty busy with that and of course my two little rug rats!

Stay positive, stay happy, stay safe.
Cindy

Just a little bit of everything!

Wow, it is already January 2, 2009. I can't believe that Christmas is over and the new year has come. We had a wonderful Holiday. The kids seemed very pleased with their gifts, so life is definitely good. It just went by way too fast! We have this last weekend before they go back to school on Monday. I think we will go to the movies either tomorrow or on Sunday for one last outing before buckling back down.

I didn't make our traditional New Years Day dinner so I think I will make it on Sunday. I didn't think I would miss it but I am and I have decided that I need it! For those of you that don't know what our traditional dinner is, it consists of Black eyed peas with ham hocks or ham chunks, fried potatoes, cornbread, sauerkraut and wieners, chow-chow, banana peppers, onion wedges and that is about it!

My mothers' birthday would be tomorrow. I am doing okay for now. I know I will feel really sad tomorrow, but I am not going to get in a funk. I am going to think positive thoughts about her and if I find myself slipping then I plan on changing whatever I am doing at that moment. We will see if that works.

I am also a bit nervous about starting my new semester on the 12th. I am taking a five hour class on Spanish. I will have a total of 14 hours. I have always taken 12 hours so I am a bit nervous about the 2 extra hours. I just want it to go well. I think it will, but I am still nervous!

I hope you all have a wonderful new year and may you get everything you want and need in the year to come. Happy 2009!